Montana

 

It's days like this that I think of the sheep farmers in Montana.  When I first started out as a sheep farmer, I would go to the online forums about raising sheep and chickens.  There would always be these people in Montana or other isolated places where people were miles and miles from the nearest vet and they would be asking people on the forum if they know what some strange symptoms were and what to do.  Then they would huddle in a barn with a sick animal overnight shutting out a blizzard.  

This morning it is snowing and blowing but it is a nice enough 32 degrees and there are only a few inches of snow to plough through to get down to feed the animals.  There is a hole in the right thumb of my glove but that hardly qualifies as anything more than an inconvenience.  It took longer to dump buckets and get water and hay and a little grain but I wasn't hurrying to get out of the weather and I didn't come in with numb fingers.  It makes me cold just thinking about those accounts I read over 10 years ago.  My heart go out to those hardy souls.  I have always thought Virginia is a fine place to raise sheep.   

Another difference in sheep farming in Montana and Virginia --- it is suppose to be 38 degrees and sunny this afternoon.  Hard to believe with the wind whistling and the snow clad cedars bending but I do believe it, living here.  Maybe I wouldn't living in Montana.  

Sarah

Sarah, a sheep at Cabin Spring Farm died mid November at the age of 13 or 14 years of age or the equivalent of the 90s in human years.  It was her time to move on.

Sarah, for those who have not met her, is the brown sheep with the all black face.  This is a picture from a few years ago.  When I was looking for a good picture of Sarah, I went back several years.  I sure don't take a lot of pictures of the sheep anymore.  It's like how you take oodles of pictures of kids when they are young and then when they are graduating or getting married or occasionally on vacations.  

I always thought Sarah was one of the prettiest sheep.  She had such a lovely face and beautiful fleece. 

Sarah was the lookout.  You could not sneak up on her ever.  She was the first sheep here to lamb and was a good mother.  She helped the other sheep as they were lambing by cleaning up the first while a second was coming.  She was hard to put anything over on but she never gave a hard time.  She was a good sheep.  Sarah I sang to, in the end, and I was learning "star language" at the time so I greeted her and sang to her in "star language".   Sarah is survived my her daughter, Zorra, and three other sheep friends.  We will all miss her a lot.  

A Quiet Morning and then

 This was a quiet morning maybe a couple of weeks ago.  If you zoom in look front center and just to the right to see this years goslings.  They were born a couple of days apart and look at the size difference.  I love all the different reflections in the goose pond.  Note the sheep are in full fleece but then they were sheared.

It so interesting to see how the colors change from year to year.  Rosa's fleece (right front) got darker this year but Sarah's (right back) got lighter, I think.  Gretta's has SO much lanolin.  I love giving rubs after they are sheared; my hands pick up the lanolin and are very shiny (no picture, sorry).  

It has been a busy Spring; additional planting in the dyer's garden with Sara's help, and improvements in and around the fiber studio with Emily, Henry, Clover, and Violet helping (pictures coming). Almost done and then we decided to go on a little adventure before coming back to finish everything.  The day before we left, I was walking down to a lower garden to water some plants and slipped on wet morning grass and twisted my ankle as I fell.  Turns out I fractured a bone and ended up in a walking boot for the beginning of our trip the next day.  We carried on because I needed some time to rest and figure out how I am going to do everything when I return and Cathy was already lined up to take care of the critters.  SURE IS NICE TO HAVE A LOT OF HELP.  

Now I have to figure out what kind of help I need when I return and where it will come from.

And Then There Was Annie

 

This was alway my favorite picture of Annie with Donald and Little Gray.  She definitely seemed to prefer fellow animals over humans.  But even with the other sheep she never liked chaos,  if there were handouts, she would just stand back and I would have to trick the others to get a treat to Annie. When Amelia, Mira, and Charlotte died, there was not so much chaos anymore and Annie would find room to come in for handouts but she seemed to miss the other sheep.  

I have always tried to determine what those around me need that I can help with but with Annie it was difficult.  What it seemed to be was "to be left alone" so I tried to do that, alway looking for opportunities to engage.  There were a few times that I felt we "connected", but for the most part it was living side by side and not pushing her to interact.  That made her death the hardest.  I alway thought that if there were not so many others we would have a different relationship.  Sometimes, I thought she might be happier living somewhere else.When the more dominant sheep died earlier in the year, I thought we would have an opportunity to form a different relationship.  It did seem like that was happening a little,  but she died too soon after they did.  The others I felt I could comfort in some way in their final hours with singing, or hanging out but with Annie I would not go too close trying not to stress her.  Though it made it harder for me, did it make it easier for her, or did she wish and expect  that I would know how to comfort her.

Sweet Annie died 4 weeks ago and I still think about her most days and see her there in the barnyard looking at me.  What did she try to tell me that I didn't understand?  Maybe there was nothing.  Maybe I will never know.  Annie's gift to me was to make me more aware of those in the outskirts or margins and make me want to ponder their wants and needs.  If I can do something for someone living there, maybe I will have done something for Annie.

This is Why I Do What I Do

 The Moon tonight is Brilliant!  When I went down to close the birds in for the night I noticed it above Short Hill; a crescent above the silhouette of the mountain and the still bare trees.  Exquisite and the subtle unfamiliar spring scent in the air made me SO glad that I live here and have my site and smell. 

 Tonight, I went to hang 2 skeins of yarn and some cotton cloth, that have been soaking in the fresh soy milk I made this morning, on the clothesline on the front porch.  The moon had come around the house to greet me again, this time bringing the wind with it to whip the cloth on the line. I want to stay and visit but  have more wool and cotton to put in the bucket for an overnight soak.  I am mordanting some material for a natural dyeing workshop that begins next week on Zoom.  

Tomorrow, Sara is coming to help weed the dyer's garden and maybe we will pick some wild mustard along the roadside to take a break from weeding.  I am Grateful that I have friends that I can hire to help with an over abundance of Spring chores.  Yesterday, Henry, his sisters and their mom came to help clear the barnyard of sticks and stones, repair the hole in the dam of the goose pond, and cover new grass with unwanted hay.  What a difference!!  I know all the animals will be appreciative.  No sticks and stones to step on in the dark.  The goslings will hatch in the next few days and they will be in the pond as soon as 4 days old. 

SO MUCH to do but if I didn't have the animals, would I have seen the perfect moon tonight ?  If I didn't dye with natural dyes, would I be feeling a delightful night breeze tonight?  Maybe, but all I do makes sure that I will experience these treasures often.  The geese and goslings make me laugh, so I take care of the pond. Tomorrow, I will clean the chicken coop-- the chickens are always cleaning up around the barnyard.  

The library is open again so yesterday I checked out some books.  A friend once said when she retired she was going to read and do crossword puzzles and take it easy.  I read all the time and sometimes I think it would be nice to just stop all the rest that I do and read and eat bon bons  and ...???  BUT I would miss too many of life blessings and opportunities. SO, this is why I do what I do.

Do the People in Our Dreams Need to Wear Masks?

 When "New" came to me to be the word I live with this year, I was excited.  As the year has begun I am getting a little anxious.  

We usually think of new as something that is fresh and exciting.  I knew when I was given the word, that it was the noun not the adjective.  I knew that it was "the new" that comes from something- not the shiny, beautiful new ........ but I still anticipated something fun coming in to view.

And then 3 sheep died. Now, coming from that, we have "the new" configuration of the flock with a new leader needed.

Last night I had a concerning dream. 

I am one of those people that dream in great detail.  Usually, silly story dreams or enlightening dreams but sometimes exhausting dreams where I am trying to get somewhere or accomplish something.  Often, there are many people in my dreams.  If one was making a short film from one of my dreams they would have to hire a lot of extras.  My dream last night was filled with people in large numbers and at one point I became aware that no one was wearing a mask.  I remember putting my hand up over my face.  Do the people in our dreams now have to wear masks?  It has now been a year with Covid 19 and coming from that, is "the new" that we get anxious if the dream people around us are not wearing masks?  

I don't mind wearing a mask in day life.  What I find hard to live with is not being able to give and receive a multitude of hugs on a daily basis.  I felt that those hugs were what kept me healthy. At least I can still hug John but I haven't even hugged my daughter's boyfriend and they have now been together a year.  They started dating just before the pandemic but by the time we met him, strict guidelines were in place.

 People who live alone used to have plenty of hugs from neighbors or friends in the grocery store or on the street.  What will keep them healthy in "the new" that comes from health guidelines?

I find it refreshing watching old movies where people are not wearing masks and still hugging.  What can I do to make sure the people in my dreams can still live the life of CLOSENESS so that when things calm down we can resume that in day life?

I am still optimistic that there will be "new"s that come from better things.

"The New"

 The word I am carrying with me this year is "NEW".  As usual, I did not search for it, it came to me.

(For an explanation of "word for the year" go to January blogs from last year.)

It is the noun NEW not the adjective.  It is the new that comes from something. 

 Amelia, Mira, and Charlotte (the 3 sheep furthest to the right in the above picture taken last year) died late December and the first half of January.  I posted about Amelia a couple of posts ago.  Mira died late January 11th or early the 12th.  Charlotte died exactly a week later.  

Most likely they died from the Meningeal worm (a brain/spinal column affliction), though they all had different symptoms.  This worm uses the white tailed deer as a host and is expelled when the deer poops.  Then a snail or slug come along and eats the worm and travels along.  If sheep are grazing in the area where deer have been, they can eat the snail or slug or even get the worm from excreted snail slime.  I had been letting the sheep graze outside the pasture because there was so much grass outside and the pastures had been heavily grazed.  We do have a regular occurrence of deer in the yard but I guess I took a chance.  When you do something and nothing happens for 10 years, you think it won't happen.  And the sheep loved to go out.

Mira was the matriarch of the flock.  Even when she was struggling the past year with arthritis,  and not leading in a robust way, she was the gentle boss.  The other sheep respected her at all times.  I had longer conversations with Mira than any of the other sheep.  She liked attention (most of the time) and even occasionally opted for rubs over hay.

Speaking of attention, Charlotte came looking for attention regularly and loved rubs.  If I was giving out grain, I knew not to have Charlotte behind me because she would paw my pant leg to get my attention.  She thought her turn was between each of the others.  Charlotte would have taken over leading the flock if she were still alive, I think.

Amelia, Mira, and Charlotte were the 3 Cotswolds in the flock.  They are survived by Norma Jean and Gretta (Cotswold/CVM crosses) and of course the rest of the flock of Finns and Finn crosses.

So, who are we without them?  I don't think we have figured out "the New".

Felted card

This blog is for Gail because she is starting to felt and was talking about doing a card.  I couldn't get this picture from my photos to just email her because it came up in a completely different set of photos and could not be moved to my desk top or anywhere else that I could figure out.  Oh well.

I hate all the things I can not figure out on the computer but I am not going to spend significant time trying to figure it out because I have better things to do.  I do want Gail to see this though.

This card did take a lot of time to do but it was enjoyable time.  Needle felting is not really my thing right now but I do enjoy wet felting which is what the base of this card is.

Enjoy Gail.

Sweet Amelia

Amelia died suddenly a few weeks ago.  I still feel her presence.  She had the most beautiful locks!  And such luster.  She was a Cotswold. Amelia always let you know she was around.  Like Charlotte and sometimes Gretta, you knew Amelia was beside you or behind you without turning around or looking down.  

Amelia came to live here when she was maybe a week old with her mom, Hildegard from the Frontier Culture Museum.  Amelia had a wonderful life here as one of a flock of 9 sheep.  

She would have been 11 years old in April.  Sheep live, at average, 10-12 years.  Amelia was not an average sheep though.  She was personable and liked kids and having her picture taken.   

Amelia will be missed but never forgotten.

 

Gratitude for All that Is

I am grateful for helping spirits of the East.  The air that provides each breath as we go forward and the breath that soothes discomfort or anxiety.  Eagles soaring and condors and all the winged creatures that teach us to fly.  I am grateful for new beginning and possibilities, new days, new seasons, the new leaves of Spring and the fragrant smells that uplift us and new growth for all living things. Help us to start anew with the anticipation of a child and the confidence of the newborn in the wild.

I am grateful for helping spirits of the South.  Fire that warms and feeds and dances.  Burn that which no longer serves us and turn it to ash to feed the earth.   Summer fun and summer nights that bring respite from the summer days.  I am grateful for the Sun that heats the earth and brings life to ALL.

I am grateful for the helping spirits of the West.  For water in all places and stages.  The rushing rivers and drops of rain that hold the world upside down.  For the lakes and great oceans that bathe us and wake us to abundant life.  For fish and otters and starfish and sea horses.  Our bodies are filled with fluent water which moves us to help do what is best for all creation.  For the autumn of our lives and peace knowing what we know.

I am grateful for the helping spirits of the North.  For ancestors and grandmothers and grandfathers whose wise teachings stay with us and pass through us.  Winter brings rest and open forests and amplification of all earthsounds, which bring gratefulness to our bones.  Wise owl, thank you for your teachings as well.  I am grateful for white bear and all the north creatures. 

I am grateful for the Upper world, the lights in the night from stars and planets.  For mystery and unique beauty.   Great Creator, God of all things,  help us to listen with both ears.

I am grateful for the Lower world, the darkness, the world of creepy crawlers, the place of bones decaying and decomposers working to bring sustenance.

I am grateful for the Center world and grounding and knowing.

I am grateful for all Angels and Archangels and ancestors and helping spirits in all realms.

Even on Hard Days

I am grateful.  The gosling count this year was up to 8 today and then we lost one, a birth defect.  Another is having difficulties.

  Loss is hard even when it is a 1 day old gosling, many are losing mothers or fathers or sisters or brothers sons and daughters and other family and friends.  Such a difficult time.

  I am grateful for uplifting stories that are being shared.  Yesterday, we heard an interview with a couple that were getting married.  The man is 107 and his wife to be, 100.  They sounded so happy and excited.

  We took a ride today to one of our favorite spots.  The canyon was gorgeous with all the wild dogwood and redbuds and the river rushing and out of its banks.  

Each day I still wake up excited about the possibilities for the day and grateful that I get to be a part of it.  I feel strangely removed from all the hardship, anxiety, and sadness that others are experiencing. I don't find myself worried about the future and in fact I see myself as a part of the future healing and I will be grateful for that opportunity.

Porch Serenade

Early Morning after a night rain
Wrapped in robe and blankets
Swaying on the porch swing

The Mocking Bird yaps from the closest tree
How many languages?
Another bird then, like me, knows only one

Faint gobbling of wild turkeys in a distant forrest
Other birds too and then a lull
Dueling drips from the porch roof join the chorus

Little Gray scratching the porch woodpile
Brings the memory of a cigar banjo twang
Then offers another pitch from a twig batted along the porch

I try to ignore the early flights that cross the sky
The lumber mill starting up
Really? another plane?

Ah, back to mourning dove's forlorn cry
Moos of neighbor cattle
And the dueling drops have now become a symphony

A Great Wave of Gratitude

Last night I was looking at my computer wallpaper and I was suddenly aware of a great wave of gratitude.  The picture is of one of my best friends at one of my favorite places on earth with a look of contemplation.  I was grateful for my friend for sure but also for every blade of grass, ever grain of sand, the mountains and on and on.  What an exhilarating feeling.

In mid December, during a shamanic journey, I asked "owl" one of my guides, for wisdom for comfort.  He replied,"people are not in control".  I remember thinking that was really comforting.  It was comforting because we had been talking about how humans were continually really messing up the earth.  I think the thought is still comforting as we go through a global pandemic but I am not sure why.  Maybe it is because, since we are not in control of the virus, we have to stop flying which is a great relief to our Mother Earth.  Maybe we are using up fewer resources at this time as well.  There are some plusses to these troubling times.  Much to contemplate.

I am grateful for the comfort of this place I call home.  The mountains have always been a source of peace for me I think. I am grateful for my wonderiful husband and his enduring sense of humor.  He always has such interesting comments.  I am fortunate to have much space and many interesting projects.  I just wish I could have the help I anticipated having, to complete some of these projects.  When John's projects wane he helps with some of mine.  For that, I am super grateful.  I am making progress.
   I hope my feelings are shared by many.

My Life is Joyful

I am grateful for the signs of Spring which officially comes in one week.  I am grateful that I can still sling a shovel and operate a backhoe.  Tomorrow's challenge is to remove the rock in the back corner.

It is difficult digging in the clay but it will make a good base.  Can't wait for the next step, stay tuned.

Many things are changing in life this week but many more are the same and dependable for example this project.  I already have half of the blocks I will need and the rest I can buy; most stores are still open.  May get some rain tomorrow.  We haven't had rain in awhile.  I cleaned up our bedroom today and now that my clutter is gone, it looks great.  On to the next room.  Plenty of projects inside and out.  I am grateful that I don't have to wonder if I am going to have a job next week. 

My job is to make sure those around me have what they need and for that I am grateful as well.

Lichen

I love lichen.  They are SO interesting.  I want to find someone nearby that can identify the 5 or more
lichen that sit in this container.  We have such an abundance of lichen.  I read that lichen are like a canary in a coal mine and if they disappear the air quality is not good.  Good to know we have good air to breath and for that I am grateful!

And this is the color that comes from one of the lichen that grows on the trees here.  AMAZING

Just Right

I am grateful for evergreens and the winter color of flowers and berries.  There are many signs that Spring is not far away but it is still winter.  We could and may get more snow.  We could have single digit nights still, but unlikely.  I am grateful for each season as it comes even though I am not alway ready to leave the one we are in.

I love the things that don't seem to fit the seasons, like the yellow flower of Winter Jasmine.  Yellow flowers seem to belong in Spring and Summer.  I love the new little tufts of green grass.  I love when there is a warm wind where there should be a cold.  I heard the rumble of distant thunder a few days ago.

I am grateful for the clear blue sky today after days of clouds and I will be grateful for the next rain when it comes even though we had at least 5 inches of rain in the past few days.   

Some of the things that seem out of season or more severe may be signs of climate change but I am grateful that Mother Earth has ways of making mankind take notice.  I am always grateful for reminders when I need to take action. 

There are many things that are not the way I would like them to be but there are many more that are just right.

Grateful That People Care About Each Other

How is a blog classified?  Where does it fall?  Closer to a letter, group letter, email, post card, or train of thought?  I think of the blogs I write, as personal letters to whoever in the universe finds them.  Kind of like a letter in a bottle.

Jane is writing a personal letter a month starting with this new year.  I wonder when I will get mine.  I do still have two friends that write letters to me though they are sometimes closer to notes.  I love letters!  We used to send them before computers.  I remember when a friend of mine told me that her daughter hated when her letters turned to emails.  I think is was something about the smell not being there... or was it that she loved holding something that her mother held close to her?

Remember when we were in elementary school and we had pen pals that lived in far off places?  Do kids do this anymore?  Do strangers still write letters to inmates they have never met? I bet people in prison treasure personal letters but maybe now they get emails.  One special thing about letters was that you could fold them up small and put them in a box that would hold them safely until the recipient wanted to reread them.  Try to find an old email that someone wrote you several years ago.

And then there are books of letters, maybe love letters, sent from and received by unknown people.  They often read like poetry.

I am grateful for each personal letter I receive, love to get post cards, and look forward to emails.  So grateful I am that someone cares enough to write.  Jane, I hope this last paragraph doesn't move me to the bottom of the list.  

Gratitude for Seeds

John often asks me at the end of a day, "How was your day" and yesterday I replied that my day was good and added that the highlight of my day was separating seeds.

As soon as I said that, I thought it sounded funny or would to someone listening.  To me though, it was a special time.  I had been reading about some Native American tribes that know that it is their responsibility to take care of the plants' babies (seed) so that the seed can take care of their babies.  They even sing to the seed.

I had forgotten what zinnia seeds look like when I took the flower heads out of my cloth bag and they began to fall apart and then I remembered.  As I began to sort, I was taking pinches and dropping on this box and soon realized that I could hear when a seed dropped and then pick it out.

The whole experience was meditative (except trying to pick some of the seed up).

I would love to hear Native Americans  sing to their seed!  I shall try to remember to sing to the seed I collect and plant.

Some Days More Things Come to Mind

I am grateful for Today.  I was reminded twice how wonderful things come out if you let others help using their talents.

 This morning a new acquaintance brought his clinometer over to Boxerwood to take some elevations for an accessible  trail we want to develop.  I didn't know about clinometers before and now I want one; what a useful tool.

As the day went on, it warmed a little and I was able to sit on a sunny step with my tea, to write.
I have been reading a book about conscious living.  One of the exercises in the book is a "life review" where you review your life in 7 year segments and write about memories and influences and special events and feelings.  Today, I embarked on the first 7 years of my life.  The exercise was very interesting and enlightening.

  The animals joined me (not in writing but in being present) and I believe they were very grateful  for the change of scenery and more even ground without frost heaves.  The geese were grateful that I filled a bowl with water so they didn't have to go all the way back to the barnyard for a drink.  I happened to be sitting in the line of flight of some bluejays; back and forth.  They are noisy flyers and certainly noticed when one is writing.  I was grateful that they did not drop anything on me.

When we all returned to the barnyard, it was nice to see that some body/ies evenly distributed the straw that I threw out for the geese this morning.  When it is COLD their feet get cold and they like straw to stand on.  I forget how good the chickens and geese are at moving straw around.  Pretty sure it was the chickens today; the geese do it differently.
 Anyway, a Lovely Day!

Gratitude for Memories

This morning, I walked halfway down to the barnyard taking in a beautiful foggy misty morning with the sun trying to come through.  I contemplated going back for my camera but decided not to.  Some times one just has to take it all in and realize that by putting your intention into the whole experience; the hush, the mystery, the feeling, not just what you see through a camera, you sometimes experience    a greater experience.  I was thinking about this on our Christmas Adventure out west.  Lyndy took about 10 times more pictures than I did.  I tried to make a mental picture most of the time (especially at sunrise and 9 degrees at Bryce Canyon).  I am glad that I did take some pictures though, because I did not remember how blue the sky was when we went to Zion National Park. (see gratitude for the elements).

My sister Judy's word for this year is acceptance.  She was emailing that she was accepting that her memory wasn't as good as it used to be.  BUT, remember all those Fabulous memories of magical trips and special moments with loved ones.  For instance, I may not remember all of the wonderful trip we took at Christmas but I will remember the amazing feeling of discovering all that we did with John and Lyndy.  Who cares if you don't remember what that orange stuff is in your freezer.  What was the feeling you had a moment ago, or what did you hear or smell that was amazing?